like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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