are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
