Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
