White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
