it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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