Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I need a burrito and a hug.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
