redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I die, sorry about rent.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
