he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
