so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
