I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will be naked everywhere
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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