guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
