Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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