I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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