Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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