how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
