remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize