There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Actions speak louder than pants.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
