everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
