ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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