I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
