Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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