I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
