I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
How does one acquire holy water?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
