They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
