I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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