it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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