to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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