would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
