the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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