Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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