So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My vagina just recognized that song.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize