Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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