thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
