are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
