his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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