dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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