I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
