i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize