Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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