so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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