So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have already put on my inside pants.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
