So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
