At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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