the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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