dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
