I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
