so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
