I'm jealous of your bromance
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
