I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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