I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize