My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize