3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
