Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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