Your mouth is God's brothel.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
