when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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